When we move to a new location (near or far away), we experience a season of transience. To borrow from horticultural illustrations: it takes us time to grow into new environments, become adjusted, and settle. As we settle, the older, most resilient roots and branches need extra tending, pruning, or care; whilst we wish for the newest shoots or sprigs to develop in an expedited manner so that we can get out of uprooted shock and into a new season of growth that leads to a harvest of sweet, good fruits.
One of the fruits that takes the most time is the fruit of friendship. Uprooted people need connection through friendship just as much as those who have the advantage of staying somewhere many seasons, years--perhaps a lifetime! Connection and social support scaffold resilience and are vital for our holistic humanity and healthy growth!
Growth cannot be rushed. In fact, friendships take time. Though there are exceptions, we generally feel closest to those we spend the most time with. How can we feel close with someone we do not spend time with? Transplants take time. Settling takes time. Growth takes time.
As A.H. Strong observed, even once a tree is settled in its soil:
"growth is not a uniform thing in the tree or in the Christian. In some single months there is more growth than in all the year besides. During the rest of the year, however, there is solidification, without which the green timber would be useless. The period of rapid growth when woody fiber is actually deposited between the bark and the trunk, occupies but four to six weeks..."
Yet, there is one friendship that transcends uprootedness and settling. Jesus' friendship can always grow and is always available at any given time and in any place. As he said:
"'I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me. If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be my disciples'" (John 15:1-8).
Jesus is a faithful friend--he further describes how His faithful love and friendship work: "'As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commands you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love.'"
"'I have told you theres things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.'"
"'This is my command: Love one anther as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn't know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.'"
"'This is what I command you: Love one another'" (John 15:9-17).
Jesus' faithful friendship and love are unending! He remains--He has asked us to remain in Him and to love one another. True friendship thrives through His faithfulness and His love.
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