It doesn't feel festive now The coffee shop in The Greens has a pine scent and cozy corners Christmas decor and advent calendars emerge Our Christmas tree is up--with lights No ornaments yet It doesn't feel festive now On Saturday we watched cliched Christmas movies Yesterday we had gingerbread lattes I light peppermint, cinnamon, and pine-scented candles Frankincense and myrrh room spray are on the counter--ready for mirth I see, taste, smell, hear, and touch Christmassy things But sense it is not festive now. When fresh cranberries were in the store I put them into my cart, onto the conveyor belt, into my reusable bag Made a plastic transaction and put them in the car We rode the elevator together--home And I washed them I froze them--they lie in the freezer It doesn't feel festive now. Festive is not sad It's sad--I feel sad Lonliness accompanies me I feel overwhelmed Anxiety overtakes Anxiety is not festive now It robs presence, engagement--reality It lies--like ...